Jen in the Hot Seat at High Vibe Event

Jen’s in the hot seat in this special live episode, answering unfiltered questions about business, identity, growth, and what it really takes to build something meaningful over time.

What unfolds is a candid and expansive conversation that moves beyond strategy and into the internal shifts required to lead yourself at every level. Through real time answers and reflections, Jen shares how she navigates self doubt, makes aligned decisions, and continues to move forward even when certainty is not guaranteed. This episode offers a behind the scenes look at the mindset and self leadership that sustain long term growth.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How Jen navigates self doubt, even at her current level of success
• The question that helped her shift direction at a pivotal moment
• Her perspective on building a business when life does not go to plan
• How she approaches decision making without needing full certainty
• What self leadership looks like behind the scenes as you grow

Connect with Jen:

• Read Iconic Magazine®: becomingiconic.co/magazine

• Join House of Her, our exclusive membership community: becomingiconic.co/houseofher

• Watch on YouTube: @theICONICmagazine

• Follow on Instagram: @iconicmagazine__

Transcript

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Speaker: 0:14

Welcome to the Iconic Podcast. I am your host, Jennifer Leigh, CEO, founder, and editor-in-chief of Iconic Magazine. Each week, I bring you into the rooms most people never get access to. The cover features, the contributors, women who are making big, bold moves in their life and business. I sit with them, learn from them, and I'll bring their stories, their thinking, and their standards directly to you in real time. Alongside those conversations, you will hear from me. With over 20 years of experience building brands and over 100 million in client sales, I share the insights, strategies, and leadership perspective that most people have not yet accessed. This is not surface-level advice, but the real decisions, standards, and shifts required to build something that lasts. This is how Iconic Women Thinks. Build, lead, and live. And while I have you, I want to encourage you to go download the most recent copy of the magazine, whether in digital format or to get your hands on that physical copy delivered to your door every quarter. And I'd also love to see you in the House of Her membership. Thank you so much for being here. Well, thank you for coming. It was funny. I don't think in scarcity at all. And this morning I woke up and I was like, what if nobody actually even comes in the room? And it's interesting because I think that's really charming for us to talk about because no matter where we are on our journey, we all have those thoughts from time to time that could potentially hold us back or fling us forward. And so my name is Jen. I am the founder of Becoming Iconic and the editor-in-chief of Iconic Magazine, which is a media platform for women just like you. I had this moment when I was a little girl. I was breaking thin ice. Does anybody ever do that when you were little, breaking that thin ice along a stream? And I had this moment, I was very young, where I knew I was supposed to support women to step into their confidence. I now say that I support women to rise to their occasion. And so I thought that was going to be through fashion. And I went to school for that and then went into school for PR because I wanted to start a magazine. I didn't because I ended up having a baby really young and I think we know how that story goes for a lot of us And I lost my social media in 2022 and someone asked me the right question at the right time She said well, you kind of have a clean slate What is something you've never done that you could do because this is kind of a prime opportunity? And as soon as she said it a magazine fell off of my lips. I hadn't thought about it in years And so it was ignorance on fire. That's a lesson in itself. I didn't know how to do it I didn't know how to publish. I didn't know how to be an editor-in-chief, but I knew that this was something I wanted to fulfill in my lifetime. And here we are. Actually, it was the podcast anniversary yesterday, six years as a top-rated podcast for women. I'm so happy about that. So if you're not following the Iconic podcast, go to your favorite platform now. Go and subscribe. It would mean the world to me. We put our heart and soul into that podcast. It is my love language to you. And I just think it's such an easy thing for you to seize as an opportunity because it costs you nothing. It just asks your intention and your habitual behavior to tap into people who have had success and learn from them. I think it's just such a great asset. So I'd love if you'd go subscribe. That would mean a lot to me. And this is Jess. And I feel like you should know her. But if you don't, she is literally everything and anything you experience through any of my brands. It's true. You're just the best. And Jess makes my days, Jess. We thought we were gonna get the giggles and now we're getting the tears. She literally makes my days happen. And everything you experience is partially because of everything that she does, from the podcast, the magazine, to our offers, to client service, anything. So Jess is here to interview me. It's her first time on the Iconic podcast. So without further ado, I'm going to pass over the mic. We did have some questions come in ahead of time, so I'm going to answer those first. I'm going to do my very best to keep it short and sweet so that we can open the room to Q&A as well. I'm so happy to riff with you and really when you come to events like this I challenge you to ask that burning question because if that's what you do you step into that audacity and you get the answer and you go apply it it could literally change your life this one day so I challenge you to think of something and if you don't have it there's no pressure but if you do ask and I will do my very best that's always my promise to give you all I've got to answer that in the best way that can like spring forward or we talk about the arrow sometimes you pull it back aim and off you go. So Jess, the mic is yours. I have the privilege of working alongside you every day. It's an everyday occurrence that we are chatting. And I get to witness this beautiful woman's heart. You have very classy and good leadership. And it's just been a privilege. So here and now, I'm going to have tears too. But I was really excited when these questions started coming in because again, I get to witness how you lead. So let's dive in today. And I actually think the first question is perfect. So are you ready? You're good. Okay. So it's from Sarah. And Sarah asks, Jen, how do you do it all? It's a lot. So here you go. I get asked that every day, every single day, running to multimillion dollar businesses. I'm a mom of four and also an only child. So starting to getting a glimpse of going into that area of my life of also caring for my parents, although they're still great. But I know I'm edging that way. How do I do it all is a really loaded question. And I could tell you all sorts of strategies. And honestly, not to plug the podcast again, but I really do do that in the podcast. I talk about cave days on Mondays, where as a team even, we prioritize the business first before we client face or forward face. Because if I'm not constantly honing in my own personal brands, it will start to dissipate as I'm pouring into others. So we prioritize our brands first. It's been one of the healthiest things we've done as a company. Because when we meet on Tuesday morning, it's like, check, check, check, check, check, got done on Monday. Now it's like, what's next? What can we do? There's a really great energy. So that's one takeaway. The second thing is I am obsessively disciplined with my schedule. You can't have me come off of my schedule, nor can I, to be quite honest. So it's so streamlined that I can be present in all things and never be resentful in anything. And that is by being a steward. It's one thing to have a schedule. It's another thing to keep to your schedule. And I had to learn that the hard way, right? I was very good at drawing it all out and then thinking I have all this time. And suddenly days just started to blend together and a week went by and not a lot got done. So I do that because when my kids get off the bus at 4 p.m., I do shift my priority over to them and being a mom. And it's why I've been raising babies and businesses for the last now 20 years. And doing it, I would say successfully, my kids would probably tell you that if they were here too, when you ask them, what does your mom do? They're like, she's a stay at home mom. Okay. But I love that for them because they feel like I'm always available there and I am. So I'm also telling you that because you can have the best of both worlds. You can be completely present and thriving as a mom, if that's what you choose, or thriving as a partner or thriving as a friend, and also have great success in your career. Lastly this came up for me yesterday i was interviewed on a podcast and she reflected it back to me and i've never actually thought of it this way but i think it's really important is i also and i'm going to claim it i'm really embodied so i've worked really diligently on my energetics and what it means to have a healthy masculine and a healthy feminine what does that look like for me and how can i dance between those two things really really well where they're never clashing or colliding, but instead kind of like, I think of waltzing. They're kind of like twirling together in my day. And what she said to me, because she does lots of regulation, she said, you're doing things all the time to regulate yourself. You're just not using that language and you're so embodied. So that might sound interesting for how do you do it all, but that's a part of how you do it all. It's your energy. It's how you're leading yourself. And so that is a huge component. And I would challenge you to think about that as well as you start to add more to the things that you're doing. You're a hardworking gal. The next one is from Evie. How do you decide to grow an agency or keep it lean? That's a good question. And I actually asked for clarification from you because I wanted to answer this really well for you, because that could mean a lot of different things. So what Evie was mentioning is like, do I stay as a solopreneur with some support, but really just I am the person that's doing what I do? Or do I build an agency? Do I expand and hire contractors on? And that's a great question. Maybe some of you are thinking that right now. And the question really goes back to Evie or back to you of what do you desire? I think we think we have to hit a million dollars plus in order to be successful. And I'm here to tell you can have a six-figure and multi-six-figure business and be ridiculously wealthy. Wealthy in time, wealthy in resource, wealthy in passion and purpose. You don't have to hit a million dollars in order to feel that and have that. So I just want to let you know that note, okay? Because I feel like we have really pushed this million dollar mark as though that's the summit. You can have it well before that, okay? So you have to ask yourself, what do I desire? What am I building here? Do I want to have something that has lots of freedom and flexibility? Do I feel really good doing what I'm doing? And I see that my life would be so rich making even two, two and a half, five, $10,000 a month. That would feel like freedom to me. So that is my choice. I'm going to keep it slim. I'm going to keep my costs down and just give more of my time in order to receive more income. The other side is if you're like, no, no, no, no, I want to scale, I want to build something big beyond myself, that's a choice. And so what that will mean is you're probably going to give up some time in the meantime to scale and build that in order to have a revenue generator, a machine. And that takes time. I do run an agency. We have a creative agency within Becoming Iconic because we noticed a big gap in the marketplace when I was working with women. I would say to them, OK, we need a brand done. We need this campaign really to be dynamic. And they were going and paying contractors ridiculous amounts of money. And what we were receiving back was lackluster at best. And I couldn't get behind it, nor could they. So I just started offering my team like Jess will help with automations and systems. My art director will come and do branding for you. So we have an agency model within my business and it's wonderful. But my choice is to keep it lean because I love the intimacy of it. I don't foresee myself building an agency model where outside people are coming in and we have a bunch of contractors because for me, the sweet spot is that time and presence. So Evie, I would say to you just to reflect on where you want to go and nothing's permanent. If you decide I want to build an agency and then it's like, oh, it's not for me, you can pull back and go back. It's okay. Or you may say, I like the solopreneurship right now, and maybe two years from now, the timing is right. So just give yourself permission to answer what that desire is right now. Okay, the next one is from Francesca. So looking back on your successful career, can you highlight a pivotal moment you collapsed time and what did you do or have to be in those moments? Thank you for your question. I'm gonna answer it simply, but it's not a simple answer. So personal belief in an unwavering, unshakable personal belief is required to have those, I call them hockey stick moments or collapsing time, those moments of quantum leaps. Usually is a direct result of knowing what you want, believing in what you want, and then having the audacity to share it out loud. And unwavering personal belief is a muscle. And I think a lot of women I work with are waiting, waiting for the belief. When I have someone buy this offer, then I'll feel great about this offer. When my business makes X amount of dollars, then I will, because I hear you all say, I'm just a personal brand starting, or I'm just a coach or I'm just a creative. And what does the just mean? Like, I don't know if I want to buy from you if you're just a. So it's build that personal belief. And the only way to do it, if it doesn't come naturally, is to go in the deep end and see what you're made of. Like give yourself a good show. Nevermind everybody else. Like go in the deep end, cannonball in. And when you do, the results are inevitable. You can count on it. If you go all in on your business and yourself, you don't even have to think about revenue or income. I don't think about it very often. Why? Because I pay more attention to who I am, what I'm leading and how I'm moving throughout my day, my belief in myself and what I offer than I am of you validating my offer or telling me this is too much or too little. So that would be my simple but not simple answer. Okay, number four is from Lynn. I struggle in selling ads to make my magazine pay for itself. I don't mind the volunteer hours I put into it. However, the cost of printing, photography, and editing, and graphic design work that goes into this is quite expensive. Don't we know it? How do I make this viable? First of all, thank you for your question, fellow publisher. I love that. And having a magazine, love that even more. And actually, the way I answer this is going to benefit anybody. So even if you don't have a magazine, I'm going to share this in a way that you can apply it to your own business. It does take investment. It does. Our magazine was a non-for-profit for about three years, literally cost. I probably could have bought multiple homes with the amount of money I was investing in the magazine, but that was my choice. I chose that knowing where the vision was. I chose that because I knew I had to build the evidence before I ever expected anybody to invest in the magazine for sponsors, etc. So that was my choice. And I would say to you, build the evidence, build the evidence of visibility. You know, what's the culture that you have? Why would somebody pay to come into your magazine? What are you offering them? Is anybody doing paid visibility or PR right now? Are you afraid of it? Can I just ask? Do you think it shouldn't be that it's paid? I'm curious. You're afraid of wasting money. Okay. What converts? Yep. You even had to. Okay. I'd love you all just to get really comfortable in that. Like that's a normal thing now. That's not abnormal. And actually when someone's asking, that's abnormal these days, like where you don't have to invest. And the investment's so good for you because it's gonna make you stand up to the plate and take the mic, take the spotlight and own it. Now, I do think there's a time where it could be a little premature for all of you. If you don't have a place for the visibility to land, it's just gonna fall flat. So prepare your brand for that but at the same time go for it take the spotlight and so back to your question you know prepare that stage for the people we talked about this at the vip event prepare that stage own your own voice own your own vision share it and know that the investment will come back but especially with what we do we do have to build the visibility we do have to build the reach i can look at people now and say you're going to reach millions of people so i know what i'm offering you it's just now are you ready for what i'm offering you so get to that place and it doesn't mean millions either i don't want you to feel like it needs to be that big it will be though i just want to put that out there and manifest that for you but even with your offers build the experience of your offers let people come in even if it's complimentary for now to build the testimonials don't always think that it has to be money driven let it be vision driven and the money again will come. Okay, this is from Kim. How has perimenopause propelled you or slowed you down? So here's the thing. I don't buy into a lot of the narratives in this world of like things are happening to us and oh my gosh, perimenopause and menopause and I have brain fog. Like I just think women, we're constantly exchanging our scarcity and our narratives for things that are not serving us. I'm not going to sit here and say I don't have any symptoms. I do, but they don't hold me back. As women, how can we think things are happening to us? How can we think our bodies are betraying us? It's like not what we have been raised and what we've been advocating for. So we're just looking now for another reason why it's not going to work or why it's not our time. I would say leverage this as your powerful queendom. You're walking into that next chapter where there's more wisdom and experience. Sure, there's symptoms, but there's so much support now for those things. So how is perimenopause holding me back? It's not at all. As a matter of fact, I feel like it's the jet fuel these days because I have this wisdom and it feels like such a responsibility to pour it out into the world because I know there's not a lot of people who have what I have. And so there's a level of responsibility in that. Do I have brain fog? Sure, but I can go find out supplements and I do things for myself to support myself to ensure I'm the best I can be because that's my obligation, truthfully, in my career. I really want you to be careful. Because I see the narrative on the ground these days of like, here's what's happening. And it's like, really, ladies, we worked this hard to liberate ourselves and be able to do what we're doing. And we're just going back there again. Like, let's stop being in victim mentality. And let's step up to the plate. And like I said earlier, like rise to the occasion. These are your wise years. Use them to your benefit. From Michelle, what is your biggest piece of advice for someone who wants to have their biggest year in 2026? Who's having their biggest year in 2026? Okay, me too. And it already has been. So let my energy be your energy. Let my foresight be yours. Like if you need belief, if you need that energy right now and you're feeling that I don't know what she's injecting, but I need some of that. But I would really challenge you to literally let go of the things that are holding you back. It doesn't matter what happened last year. It's last year. We can't change it. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday. We can't change it. What matters is how are you leaning forward? So a couple things. I think we also need to define what a biggest year yet is. I'm going to give you a little vulnerability. Last year was a crunchy year for us internally. It really was. And Jess was actually reflecting this to me. I wouldn't have said this answer if it weren't for her. So this is all Jess. Thank you. But she said, Jen, like that was such our biggest year because we armed ourselves and laid the foundations that needed to be set for this new version that we had become so that we can welcome everybody in in 2026. We had to kind of pull the arrow back, so to say, to do some of the unsexy. Like, it was not a sexy year. I'm just going to be, right? Jess, you know. It was a chiseled year. We chiseled. We chiseled. We weren't champagne and clink clinkings like that was not happening as much. Not that revenue was bad. I don't want to paint it that way. But it wasn't a revenue growth year because my attention was more on we've got to build the back end of this business because where we're going and where I see this leading, we're not prepared. And so we had to do that. It was our biggest year yet, not from revenue, but from like setup. So, no, sometimes your biggest year doesn't always have to equivalent to the amount of money you made. Sometimes your biggest year is what you overcame sometimes your biggest year is what you built that nobody can see yet and sometimes your biggest year is that like outward clinking of champagne glasses and celebrating but don't get caught up in what's being shared with you online i don't talk a lot about income when i do it's on purpose because i would never want you to hire me because of how much money i make like that would be really sad for me i want you to come into my world because of how I activate you and how you feel in my presence. And because you believe that I have something to offer you, like you want to be in partnership. Don't hire me because you think I have the secret to a million dollars. You have the secret to your million dollars. We just have to uncover it. So don't get caught up in the money as though that's the only way to measure your biggest year yet. Get caught up in the love of building the business and whatever that means this year. Yes, I love that. For our final question that we had ahead of time, it's from Kara. She says, I see you everywhere. I'm curious about how to start in your world and what you offer someone who's building a brand. Oh, that's nice. Thanks for the plug, Kara. You know, here's the thing. I was in the mentorship industry before there was a mentorship industry. Actually, Danielle and I were. Like we've been around before there was this industry that we all see. So we are the OGs, and we kind of fell into it, to be honest with you. That wasn't a choice. It just happened. I've seen a lot of things that have hurt my heart. And I know some of you have been betrayed and maybe a little jaded, maybe a little cynical. Can we be honest? I don't blame you. I do too. I made some owie investments even as early as last year that I just felt like, wow, I know how people feel. But we don't have to let that detract us. Instead, we can build the very thing that we didn't receive. We can let those lessons be the lessons that we say, I will never have somebody in my world feel the way I felt or the way I feel. It's sometimes the best leadership lessons. It's never a waste of money. It's never a lost investment. Your best lesson in that is how not to behave or how not to treat people. So know that. But in saying all that, I built a business that I really wanted to be accessible. I really wanted to be someone that whether you were starting or you were a nine-figure founder, there was a seat at the table. Because really, I believe we're all going through it. It's kind of on repeat, but in different ways and with different challenge and with different responsibilities. So we have everything. Actually, I'm going to plug it there's the QR code for house of her and I said to Jess actually I never pitch ever if you know me have any of you ever heard me pitch I never pitch but I'm going to pitch today because I believe in this as a great starting point to come into my world house of her was. Relaunched the rebranding just yesterday the day before and it's my membership it's $88 a month that's it okay so nobody can tell me you can't afford that you can if you really want it but this is a place for the woman behind the brand. This is where I'm talking about how I pack my bags for shows and how I pitch myself, how I got experiences, what I'm eating, how I'm juggling the kids. It's really me behind these brands that you see openly. And you also get a subscription to the magazine for that. So there's a tangible asset to this investment. So I'd say start there. But I also have mentorship. I have visibility opportunities. And I'm always open to a coffee chat i'm not someone that is like i'm unavailable for that or i've heard people say we don't do sales calls if they don't want to ask for the link and click they're not your ideal client i think that is awful. What do you mean we're shaming people for them to ask us questions so they can discern and clarify whether this is a good investment for them? I'm sorry if anybody ever tells you that or you hear somebody say that, run the other way. That to me is really poor leadership. I am not too big to be in anybody's space and especially honor someone who has interest in me being a part of their life. I don't take for granted when somebody invests in anything for me, whether it's $88 or my high-ticket private coaching, because I understand they're entrusting me with their literal lives. I have this dream. Can you help me build it? And you better believe I eat, sleep, dream, breathe everybody that I work with, because I understand the responsibility in that, and I don't fear that responsibility when I owe it. So just come in my DMs and ask me like, hey, here's where I'm at. Where do you think? And we can jump on a call anytime. I'd love to. I have that same mentality and also I only have a limited amount of time. I got a two of these and so I would hear you and I'm like, yes. And I also had to just tell somebody no outside and I could see they're basically upset about that. And so it's like we talked about that and also don't go into people pleasing and self-abandonment. Right. That's a great question. And I feel like you often, like there's days I say to Jess, oh my Lord, have you seen my calendar today? Because it's like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And it's not necessarily the way to scale permanently. So what I would say to you is there is a way of vetting without vetting. You can have conversations in the DM and ask inquiring questions to the person who is inquiring to see whether it's a good use, not only of our time, but of their time too. In fairness, right? I mean, let's not waste their time either. If they're not at a place, they're ready to invest. It's not a good use of either of our time. So by honoring, I love to ask inquiring questions. We also have applications for my higher ticket because if you're not ready to invest it's not that i'm not ready for you my arms are wide open i'm like calling you in but you've got to be ready don't project on me because you're investing in this don't come in this and be all about the money come in this and be like who am i behind this investment and give it your best shot because if you do that it's only going to be wonderful but through an application i can also tell simply through their words if they're ready or not. So I'll reach back out and say, hey, I don't know if this is a great choice, but I think this one is. So you can navigate. And also, we're just now starting to hire a support for me, especially from the magazine side, where I don't necessarily need to be in front of that person for them to understand what this is and what's in it for them. So maybe it's time to have some support. And you can do that really effectively where it's commission only. And so you have somebody on your team where you're not paying them unless there's a sale. So it's a win-win for you as a business owner. I'm very curious, actually, about your experience when it comes to the difference between the Canadian and American mindset. It often feels like Canadians are 10 to 15 years behind in business and our growth mindset, our scaling, even our risk tolerance. And just how do we get ahead? How do the women in this room actually just start playing bigger and making bigger swings in life? So as someone who speaks on many stages and travels, I've traveled all over the world, so not just North America. there is a distinct difference between a U.S. woman and a Canadian woman. A U.S. woman is not going, is it in U.S. Dollars or Canadian dollars? Is there tax on top of that? Those conversations not happening. I know what your head's saying. You're like, yeah, but they are because they're U.S. dollar. But even if there were an exchange, am I right? Like you wouldn't be asking those questions because it would be based on desire. They're fierce. It's like, get out of my way, Not, oh, I'm going to be tidy and do things methodically and pace this. There's such an incredible fierceness to my U.S. Sisters that I wish in Canada we could embody more of. They're not afraid to go for it. It's probably why, what is this thing? It's the country of freedom or what is it? I don't know, but it feels that way. Anyways, I just feel like in Canada, we're way too cautious for the big dreams that we have. I feel like in Canada, we're having the wrong conversations as to what currency it's in. It's like, how about what is the transformation I'm about to invest in? It's about who am I investing in? Is this mentor somebody I believe in? Because it doesn't matter if it's Canadian or US, if you have the transformation you desire, you're not gonna care at the end of the day because it was the best investment you made. So get out of your own way, Canadian girlies. We are playing way too small. You're thinking way too geographical. Like the fact that you're even thinking in currencies means that you're thinking about Canada only. go build a global business. I don't apologize for my currency because most of my business is not Canadian. So I have a global business from Australia, Bahrain, across Europe, all over the United States and Canada. And I appreciate the rooms that you're building. It's no wonder we travel there. I'm so glad High Vibe is starting this in Canada. But we have got to do better. And if you don't understand what I mean, I'm going to challenge you to go and invest and get in the room of a U.S. Event, you'll understand the energy is different, right? Ghazi and I were just at the CEO summit. They're talking about billion-dollar businesses in that room, exits, and we're sitting here talking about $100,000 business, and is it U.S. or Canadian? Like, I'm thinking, what are we doing? Because that's not geographical either. You, sitting in this seat in Burlington, Ontario, Canada, have the ability to start a billion-dollar dollar business. So start thinking in a billion dollar way. U.S. girls, let's give them some energy. Come on. It's just different. And I want you to be exposed to that if you haven't been so that you understand it. And it's not a shaming conversation. If you feel like I feel like I'm being lectured, maybe I am in some ways. And I'm not going to apologize for that because I want the best for you. And I would not be a good mentor if I always tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes I'm going to have to tell you what you don't want to hear so that you have that shift and transformation. Stop thinking about the small things and start acting towards the big things. So I work in finance, and I often see people investing in things before they're financially ready to invest in them because they feel that they have to prove their success so that other people will be drawn to them. So I'm curious if you've ever invested in something that didn't feel right because you felt like you had to show that you were successful before you felt successful and at what point that was and kind of how you navigated that. Yes, I did. I got myself in $100,000 worth of debt for it. It was fabulous. Not at all. And it wasn't because I was investing in mentorship I couldn't afford or things like that. So I want to be really clear on this. I felt like I had to look a certain way or be perceived a certain way in order for people to think that I was successful. So that came through clothes and just doing things outside of my budget for a long time as I was scaling. Particularly, I would say from zero to about $250,000. I wanted to act in success. And Danielle, I think you and I both remember those days because we kind of grew up in those days and were told that we had to do this. So that was also mentorship. Like we were paying people to tell us to overspend. Anyway, we've come a long way. But the thing that I learned through that is debt and that debt doesn't own me and it's not my identity. I learned the lesson. So if you have debt, stop making it mean so much and instead start growing a business that can pay that off. That's my first lesson that I learned. And the other thing is I constantly make investments that are way out of my reach. But I make the right investments way out of my reach because I trust who I am behind them. When someone comes to me and says, I want to hire you for private or whatever it may be, I ask them, who are you going to be behind this investment? Because if you're going to wake up and constantly make this wrong and, oh, my gosh, I'm spending so much money and I need to make it, it's not the right time because it's impossible for me to help you scale and grow. But if you make this investment and you say to yourself, I am going to squeeze every last drop out of this, I am going to be the best student, I'm going to implement and integrate everything that they're telling me, I'm going to show up, I'm going to stretch myself, I'm going to be uncomfortable, that will be the best investment you've ever made. Because the person you become and because those investments, particularly in mentorship, are forever giving you ROI. I still have ROI from my original mentors that I could not afford, but they were the catalyst to me getting out of my own way. So we can overspend on things that are not necessary, particularly with team, actually. A lot of people hiring too fast because they think they need to have a team in order to scale where I was a solopreneur for way too long. That's not a recommendation either. But sometimes I see that. So my answer is it depends on the investment. I will do stretchy, irresponsible in certain ways investments at times for the business to up level and grow. I know I need to do this to get over the hump, but I do it with intelligence and belief in myself. And the second thing is I don't buy into having to look a certain way. It goes back to the whole money marketing scenario. Like if you're proving yourself all the time and pick me energy, it's really not going to work out for the long run. So instead, wear Zara and wear it well and use your voice and use it well. Let that money come on in and then go get the YSL or whatever your dream is. But you don't need labels. I have very few labels, actually. I love to dress in more fast fashion because I get bored of myself really fast. So you don't need big labels to show success. It's who you are. How you move, how you show up in a room, how you greet another woman that will attract them towards you. That's a good question. Thank you. And probably not a financially responsible answer, but I'm a risk taker. And in the room, billion dollar exits. What was the common conversation? They were so invested, like they went all in. None of them were playing safe. And that's what created the billion because they believed enough in their idea and who they were. This is what I do in the house of her. There's something coming. So don't go buy one right away, okay? Because everybody goes buys one right away when I tell this story. Just wait a second, okay? But I was so in my masculine. I didn't even know what feminine felt like anymore. I didn't know what softness was. I didn't trust rest. I was so ingrained to me that a good leader goes nonstop. And if you stop, you're a bad leader or it's going to fall apart or whatever. So I had to retrain the way I move. And I bought myself a silk robe because when I went from the subconscious to the conscious mind in the morning when I was waking up, it immediately went to, oh, my gosh, I have so much to do. The kids like every day was waking up like that. And I didn't want to be that woman anymore. I didn't like how it felt. And so I knew I couldn't change that because that was happening through awakening, but I could change it by anchoring myself immediately. So this silk robe became my anchor. And when I put her on in the morning, when that silk glides over my skin, it's so delicious. And who I became was softer, more feminine, more sexy and like playing with that idea because I had not played with the idea of sexy and pleasure. And I'm not talking sexual. I'm talking my embodiment. And I would drink my coffee from this first sip all the way to the last. It wasn't going in the microwave 10 times until it finished. I started lighting candles. I started buying myself fresh flowers with a love letter. I started doing things that cost me very little, but actually gave me so much wealth and luxury and fulfillment in my life. And so to piggyback off of that feminine, masculine energy, I have all of these things throughout my day, these little anchors that remind me of who I want to be and how I want to show up in the moment. Same with like going from business to the kitchen to get ready with the kids. I was taking that boss into the kitchen and I thought I was infeminate because I'm being a mom and like literally thinking of the gender role versus the energy and realize I was not feminine. I was like, where's your homework? Where's your school bag? And they were just you know i could see it in them but they couldn't see what was going on and now you should see my home like i think it would melt hearts where it's like hi mom and we hug and we love on each other and we have meaningful conversations because ladies you are the leader of everything. Your business, yourself, your children, your relationships, if you have a partner, like really we are the matriarch. And so if you desire more wealth, luxury, beauty, pleasure, you've got to give it to yourself first and own it before you ever expect him to buy you flowers. As a matter of fact, he doesn't even buy me flowers very often anymore because I want to pick my own with what likes calling me in i love my little love letters where i'm like you did so great last week and congratulations on a new client i do i do those things for myself because it's not that i don't need that or desire that but i don't count on it anymore i am that for myself and it is the best romantic romance story of my life is the relationship i've built with myself. I do feel like regardless if you're in a loving relationship, you desire a loving relationship or you're not, this one is the number one. And we hear that, but it's not just like, what did you eat today? And did you do your meditation and do your workout? That's such fluff and surface level conversation. You'll do those things when you love yourself. You'll do those things when you desire to know yourself, because again, that becomes almost inevitable. I'd love you to follow me on becoming iconic or iconic magazine double underscore I am on there all the time and we pour a lot of hours into creating for you because I wake up every single day and whether you think I think of you or not some of you I dm and you're like really and I'm like yeah I really do think of you and your faces it's my god-given gift god gave me these eyes for women and so I deeply care and I'm never too busy I'm never to whatever put the label on it for a quick DM or message. I genuinely care about you and I want that for you too. I want you to genuinely care enough about you to get out of your own way and go do the thing that has been resting on your heart and agitating you for a little while. It's not supposed to be easy. No one ever gave that promise, but it's going to be so worth it because of who you become at the end of that road. That's the gold. Thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for your time and presence with us. I would love to nudge you now to respond to the generosity of this podcast by leaving a review and sharing this episode. Please tag the guest and myself as well so more people can be served. Our latest issue of the magazine is now out and linked below for you for your convenience. And if you're interested in this incredible PR and visibility opportunity, we've linked that below for you as well. Now, let's go make it a great day.